Things

Things people have done to my writing:

  • Set an entire short story in italics
  • Awarded me a $100 book voucher for winning the judge’s choice award at the same time as giving $500 to a random person who voted in the people’s choice award
  • Left a 3cm-wide blank space between the first three panels of a comic and the rest of it, while also giving the comic two titles, each at right-angles to the other
  • Invited me to submit, failed to send a rejection letter, ignored all subsequent email inquiries, but still sent an invitation to the launch
  • Added the word “with” to a poem, changing its meaning entirely
  • Agreed to illustrate a comic script and then disappeared
  • Added an epigram

Things I have done to people’s writing:

  • Changed the spelling of “trouper” to “trooper” out of ignorance
  • Upset them so much with my intended-as-kooky-fun rejection letter that they reported me to their State Literature Officer
  • Missed the “1” that the character-recognition software added to the word “R1cki”
  • Published an in-hindsight-illegible handwritten version of their interview answers
  • Allowed organisational bureaucracy to post-hoc gut or remove articles entirely
  • Arbitrarily rewritten the first sentence of every consecutive paragraph in order to spell out a secret message to myself
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About

Poet. Author. Beard. Husband. Dad. Four chickens. Dog. Cat. I can sometimes fix my lawnmower.

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Posted in people who are nice enough to publish me, rejected, the writing process

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ta-wit-ta-woo
Quelle Grammage!
only a fan of 2/3s of the folk in this pic but mesmerised by the story @angustrumble relates below it. . . . I watched last evening’s general election coverage (ABC, natch) in the company of a high Commonwealth official, among others in an undisclosed location, whose name, it soon emerged, may not appear on the electoral roll for reasons of national security. I confess that gave me a bit of a thrill. Canberra: Bless! However, it was also fascinating, extraordinary, in due course to witness that person’s several mobile phones evidently going bonkers, and the measured plans, contingencies, forecasts, blue books of an entire federal bureaucracy duly (one presumed) shredded, turned upside down, just like that. Nothing at all was said, I should emphasise. One simply observed the body language, which was moderately graphic. Whichever way you look at it, this has been an astounding personal victory for Prime Minister Scott Morrison. He believes in miracles, the sexy thing. Pre-polling methodologies in this country, meanwhile, have quite obviously met with serial unforced error on a colossal, epic scale. Who would ever pay them good money again? On my way home, I collided with the (ex-)campaign manager of one of the independent ACT Senate candidates who was alone, drunk and in despair. The campaign manager, that is, not the candidate. This was at about half past eleven on the corner of Jardine and Eyre Streets in Kingston, right next to the rubbish tin, you know, the rectangular green one. He told me he wanted to burn everything down, which was worrying enough, but then he suddenly hurled his mobile phone into the gutter—smashed it to bits—and staggered off into the night. I found myself wondering: Who would touch politics with a barge pole? I should add that this frightening encounter left me, literally, picking up his bits and bobs, then dutifully popping them in the bin. Responsible, me. Back home, I had a cuppa and played patience. I’m not kidding. . . . #Repost @angustrumble with @make_repost
A chance op shop encounter with this Death Liger Lion of Chaos duelmasters card case has done NOTHING to help my attempts to not buy one of this sucker’s namesake toys on ebay. #duelmasters #deathliger #deathligerlionofchaos #metalasfuck #toys
Thursday morning tableau
They come up after rain. I often wonder how they feel lying under the ground at right angles to their purpose. #chewton #railspike
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